People plan things, I have a friend that loves writing lists, putting it up on the fridge and ticking them off once accomplished. Now I'm not talking a shopping list, or even a things to do this week, although I'm sure they have them too. I'm talking 5 year plans, yes, just like you get at an interview.
"where do you see yourself in 5 years"
Well it's safe to say, I don't have a list on my fridge, or anywhere else for that matter, I gave up that sort of planning a long time ago.
I don't want to say I'm unlucky, but if I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any.
Please don't think I'm looking for sympathy, I'm really not.
Like I said I was the first messed up planned thing, it sets up everything that followed.
My parents, like millions of others in the 70's, met at school, fell in love (apparently, although I find that very difficult to believe), got married, got a council house, a new build, it was the 70's after all, so what's next on the tick list, oh yes children.
Well I'm sorry to say, some people just shouldn't have children, especially just because it's what you're meant to do!
I was planned, I'm sure I was even wanted, at least at first anyway, that's until the reality hit home. Like so many families of the time the patriarchy ruled, and a child had no impact on my dad's life. He carried on as normal, went to work, went to the pub, played football and cricket. He went out with friends, came home, staggering through the door, was he going to be cheerful and jokey or shouting and angry, it was a lucky dip.
As a small child, I have one, yes one good memory with my dad in it, I think we were on holiday, I have no idea where, somewhere in the UK, it was a pontins type of place, and I remember us having a race at the park, and I won, obviously he let me, I was probably about 4, but I didn't know that at the time, and I was so happy.
That is it, I have other memories which are funny, but for the wrong reasons.
I also remember that same holiday, huddled up on the sofa with my mum, covered in blankets, both of us freezing, both shivering. I have know recollection of my dad being there, I wonder where he was.
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